Sacred Becoming

I don’t choose to feel this deeply. But, I choose to keep healing

I have BPD, and I’m sorry.

I wish I could choose my feelings,

but they come like storms I cannot stop.

Most days, I hate myself

more than anyone ever could.

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I move from low to high in minutes.

I don’t understand “normal” people,

“normal” love.

I want to be alone,

yet I fear loneliness.

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I can let go of someone

who meant the world to me…

in an instant.

Even when I feel nothing,

I feel everything.

I question every thought,

every choice,

every word.

I long for reassurance,

and I feel ashamed for needing it.

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The world looks different

through my eyes.

I stumble through shadows,

trying to explain the colors

no one else sees.

I don’t want to be this way forever.

I’m working on it.

I’m trying.

I’m reaching.

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Please don’t leave me here.

Hold my hand through the storm.

I am learning to rise.

I am learning to become.