Sacred Becoming

My boundaries are not walls.

They are proof that I survived and learned.

I used to think healing meant becoming softer.

Quieter.

More understanding.

Less “intense.”

I thought if I healed enough, I would stop being “too much.”

Too emotional.

Too deep.

Too aware.

Too reactive.

Too powerful.

But here’s what I’m realizing:

I am not healing to make other people comfortable.

I am healing so I stop abandoning myself.

There is a difference.

I am not doing shadow work so I can tolerate disrespect with grace.

I am not regulating my nervous system so I can accept crumbs calmly.

I am not building boundaries so I can explain them gently while they’re being crossed.

I am healing so I can recognize when something feels wrong — and leave.

So I can feel anger without shaming it.

So I can say no without spiraling into guilt.

The fire in me isn’t dysfunction.

It’s information.

And for a long time, I was taught to extinguish it.

Now I’m learning how to wield it.

Healing is not turning into someone smaller.

It’s becoming someone clearer.

Clear about what I deserve.

Clear about what I will no longer tolerate.

Clear about who I am when I’m not surviving.

I am not becoming more convenient.

I am becoming more sovereign.

And that makes people uncomfortable.

So be it.

— Lauren xoxo